YouTube Comments on Rebecca Black's Friday

At this moment Rebecca Black’s Friday has a staggering 42 million hits, 65,000 likes and over half a million dislikes on YouTube.  Much has and will be made about (1) what this entails w/r/t ITunes sales and future self-starting young “musicians” (2) whether a 13-year-old kid deserves half a million dislikes worth of abuse heaped on her.  (3) whether ARK Music Factory should be tarred and feathered for taking people’s money to create this kind of content, etc.

However, this blog is going to look only at the YouTube comments.  They are wildly illiterate, racist, misogynistic, incredulous and intentionally/unintentionally hilarious.  I’ve compiled roughly 750 words worth of content, and I’m not sure I could write a sadder, funnier 750 words if I tried.

I tend to think YouTube comments provide a representative cross-section of our culture.  In the past I have been outraged to see comments advocating the My Chemical Romance version of Desolation Row as being superior to Dylan’s using the logic that, “I don’t want to listen to a guy who is like a zillion years old.”  Plus, I watch a lot of conspiracy/metaphysical/occult content that really brings out the whackjobs.

For some reason I did not copy the user names of the commenters, so if your comment is listed below and you want credit for your racist/misogynistic/unintentionally funny remark please have your lawyer contact my team of lawyers.  (I have led a libelous life and have been oft litigated against.)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0]

Let us preface these comments with one of the all-time most necessary [sic]s of all time.  My occasional remarks are in bold and paren'd.

makes me laugh people moaning in their millions, you choose to listen to it  (oddly, unintentionally poetic—“moaning in their millions”)

This is clearly an epigrammatical virtuosic study of the divertissemental aspects of the fifth day of the week.

looks like whore :D

this is getting comments like shit!!!!!!!!!  (an elegant simile)

what a sexmonkey!!! OOOOOH WOW!

this song is shit and everyone who like it should be murdered brutally

Drink urine and eat shit ! Slutty whore dirty disgusting twat (this from a poster named "Glee Addicted")

someone just fucked her ass, she sounds constipated !

She is going to kill herself. Half a million people think she is shit.

CUNT

JB's whore ! Kill both of them

omg what a shity song

Libya said they would stop killing if we kill Rebecca Black.

i hope u fucking choke when u sing again

she have to much haters

I think you need your eyes and ears tested. It's a GIRL not a GUY, and sounds...not too good!

why does people hate this song so much ?

Jesus Christ, and i tought Justin Bieber was the worst foreign "artist" i've ever heard. But this shit is so wrong in so many ways, i feel my soul slowly disintegrating.

the song is shit, the lyrics are shit, her voice is even worse and they all look about ten, i wood rather shit on my hands and clap tjat listen to that again, nuf said  (I feel more could have been said)

this bitch is whack. only good for a blowjob

I don't even... are you being sarcastic? Cause... she's just awful. There's nothing good about this song, it shouldn't exist, it should have never existed. It makes me want to construct a time machine so I can go back to the specific moment when the writer conceived the idea for this travesty and beat him/her with the soggy end of his/her own arm. She's a human, and as such has rights, but she's breaching our human rights by subjecting us to this abomination of a song.

nice robotic voice you got their .... its sounds like kwek kwek kwek ( friday, friday, friday)  (nice use of alliteration)

I love how the bieber fans are so pissed about this. she's shit, he's shit, they both really need to just die :/ kthxbai

i was actually looking forward to the weekend and then I heard this ..

Don't let 13 year old kids drive... just sayin'

Oh Dear Lord, this is a hit song. I want to kill indiscriminately. Humanity is on a terrible decline.

Fuck, my ear is crashed

i think she's looked da best when she's gettin laid hahaha

OMG. seriously. is this even considered a song?!? she just singing what she either did or will do. 

She's a kid. She's doing more with her young life than any of US are.

No way in hell those kids are old enough to drive

INTERNET HATE MACHINE, PREPARE YOUR RIFLES, SOME RANDOM GIRL IS FAMOUS BY SINGING SOME SILLY SONGS, SHOOT!

why are you bringing justin in to this? SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM?

she may well be the best lyricist of our time (a rare ‘bon mot’)

I can't wait for the news story in about 6 months once she's overdosed on crystal meth. You fucking idiot.

go fuck yourself you little whore. We all have an ACTUAL taste in music. You probably in a mental hospital

Just got diabetes listening to this

ppl want to stab themselves because of this.

COME ON!!!! WHY DON'T U LIKE HER!!! SHE'S JUST A TEENAGE GIRL WHO JUST WANTS TO BE FAMOUS BECAUSE OF HER TALENT IN SINGING AND NOT FROM BEING CYBER-BULLIED AND RECEIVING BAD COMMENTS FROM YOU!!!

WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED US O LORD!? (comical, yet not without a broad truth)

Seriously? A 30 year old cruising for high school chicks? What is he, the local pedophile?

Jesus bum fucking christ, this is fucken shit.

My ears are bleeding due to the incomprehensible crap that she is uttering from that faliure of her voice. So please, do the world a great favor and jump off the nearest cliff. Or better yet, get run over by that car. :)

who's the nigger?

Pretty much evrey body is a idiot here who does hate comments so what if you dont like the song you dont have to put hate comments on her Im 11 and im more macher then you idiots and yes i spelled macher wrong

maybe we dont like her because her singing sounds like a burning penguin

...and for good measure, to cleanse the palette and soul  [SIC]!